Valentine dreams

Valentine’s Day is a holiday both loved and loathed. Toronto’s favourite party people tell Scott Dagostino about their most memorable nights of hearts and flowers, and the pleasure — or pain — that followed.

Ryan G Hinds
Cabaret performer
 
My 17-year-old self, dressed up cute in the finest that Le Château had to offer, had V-Day reservations at someplace Italian with the love of my life. The appetizers were seductive, dinner was lovely, the mood was exquisite. And he chose to break up with me while we were waiting on dessert.
 
I don’t remember his reasons, but I do remember a divine slice of chocolate cake arriving and me willing myself not to cry or smush it into his face. It stayed on my plate, soon collecting my tears. That’s what Valentine’s Day is to me: chocolate cake and tears.
 
Shane Percy
DJ/Promoter
 
I’m not into over-the-top gestures. Just a quiet dinner out, a fine bottle of wine and a DVD. And, of course, snuggles. Flowers are nice, too. A single red rose is a really nice offering for a guy, as opposed to a giant bunch of roses. You never want to make a guy feel like he just won a teen beauty contest.
 
See, I’ve seen the movie Drop Dead Gorgeous one too many times. That movie can teach you many valuable life lessons. It taught me, for instance, never to stand on top of a giant swan near an open flame.
 
Upcoming: Grapefruit: Love, Fri, Feb 10; 1st Annual Pop Machine Awards, Sat, Feb 18
 
Phil Villeneuve
DJ/Promoter
 
I was a closeted little kid in Grade 7 who wore brooches and ducky boots. After crushing on the most popular girl in class, I finally decided to write her and profess my undying love. I sealed the letter and snuck it inside her desk. The only thing missing? My name.
 
A mysterious love bomb exploded in the classroom and my future girlfriend sent her army of brats to spend the rest of the afternoon asking every boy in class if he had written the letter. When asked if I had written it, of course I said no! I was happy the whole ordeal had vanished by the 3:20 bell, because deep down, I knew it was my hunky gym teacher who truly made my heart flutter.
 
Upcoming: Big Primpin’, Fri, Feb 3; Tapette, Sat, Feb 4; fit, Sat, Feb 18
 
Alessandro
DJ/Promoter
 
I was 16 and closeted, living in the east end, and my boyfriend, also closeted, was living in the west end. He was insistent on me coming to his house for Valentine’s weekend while his parents were away. We rarely got these opportunities, but I was having all four of my wisdom teeth pulled out two days before. I told him I would have to see how I was feeling.
 
After the surgery, my mouth was so swollen I looked like a chipmunk. I could barely eat or drink, let alone suck cock. I called to explain, but he took it as a rejection and argued with me. Shocked and in pain, I told him that if he couldn’t understand, then we shouldn’t talk anymore. I was upset but certain that once he had cooled off, he would call to see how I was recuperating and to wish me a Happy Valentine’s Day. He didn’t.
 
Upcoming: Popsicle, Sat, Feb 4; Business Woman’s Special: Valentine’s Edition, Sat, Feb 11; FML: XOXO Edition, Mon, Feb 13; 1st Annual Pop Machine Awards, Sat, Feb 18

Donnarama
Performer
 
I performed a show in early February one year and a really cute guy asked me out afterward. He was very attractive, so I said yes. He asked me to show up at his place in drag, dressed as Barbra Streisand, so I did, feeling slightly odd and a bit curious. It was Valentine’s Day and I was wearing a What Would Barbra Do? tank top I got from Bang-On on Yonge St.
 
When he opened the door, his place was like an SM torture chamber and he was wearing a Nazi uniform. Stunned, I joked, “I don’t know what’s going into the oven for dinner tonight, but it’s not gonna be me.” Then I ran away.
 
Upcoming: Buddies on Saturdays, Woody’s on Sundays
 
John Caffery
DJ/Promoter
 
After almost a year of dating my man, my feelings were really growing strong, so for Valentine’s Day I picked out a romantic restaurant called Rosebud, which had gotten some great reviews. It was indeed intimate — about six inches between each table and packed with dining couples. Over the course of dinner, my date decided to break up with me. I was very upset and embarrassed that the tables beside us were hearing our difficult and emotional conversation. I had to make trips to the washroom to cry, then compose myself and return. Walking me home, he said goodbye and it felt like it was going to be forever, and there wasn’t anything I could do to change it.

Then he reappeared at the door. “I forgot my keys,” he said. I was so annoyed that this was his reason for returning that I whipped them at him very hard. The next day we talked, worked things out and spent the evening cuddling on the couch and reconnecting while listening to Mary J Blige. Six years later, my man and I are still together, but we don’t care much for Valentine’s Day.
 
Upcoming: Mighty Real, Fri, Feb 24

Francis  Gaudreault
Promoter
 
I was studying up north, just a wee young gay in a long-distance relationship with an amazing guy who lived in Jasper, Alberta. I decided that I would surprise him for Valentine’s Day by flying cross-country. After a 12-hour trip, I arrived on his doorstep, exhausted but with a bouquet of roses.
 
He was so happy to see me, he broke down in tears, but later, he almost broke down crying from laughter. Planning for a hot steamy night, I had shaved my lower business area into a heart shape, just to add that extra piece of romance, but razor burn had set in over the trip and . . . well, it didn’t look as good as I had hoped.
 
Upcoming: Pitbull: The Mile High Club, Sat, Feb 4, Fuzion
 
 
Scott Dagostino is a fab writer who has been responsible for many memorable Valentine’s Day pleasures.