Horoscopes

bio photo
Ryan Kerr
left arrow 1 / 1 right arrow
arrow down right

Age of Aqueerius

Your biweekly horoscopes, from the mystical mind of Ryan Kerr

05.10.2013

Taurus
 
May the 4th be with you! (And beyond...) Yoda may not have had a lisp, but he was a bit  of  unique little monster. Thankfully, he’d done some heavy emotional work and didn’t let his alien differences stifle his wise perspective! You shouldn’t either!
 
Gemini
 
Treat yourself to something you really want this week. As long as it’s consensual.
 
Cancer
 
I got into an argument recently about mind-reading. While I may be a guru with the stars, predicting someone else’s needs isn’t my strongest suit. Help a ‘mo out: ask for what you need.
 
Leo
 
You’re freaking intense. There, I said it.
 
Virgo
 
You just did some crazy shiz: you stood up for yourself in a moment of great pressure. And it feels good. DO IT AGAIN OR ELSE!!!!!
 
Libra
 
Telling you to “let it all hang out” maybe be redundant (especially for you TNT members out there) but maybe there’s still a snag to undoing the girdle? Is there a side of you that stays tightly wound when the rest of you jiggles free?
 
Scorpio
 
Nothing worse than going to message someone on a hookup site only to see that their inbox is full and you have to pay to send the a message. Seriously, NOTHING IS WORSE.
 
Sagittarius
 
Last night I tried a new twist on an old favourite: riding my bike with a helmet! It was great. I should try new things more often!
 
Capricorn
 
My puppy, Rachel, turns in circles before she decides where she wants to lay down. But once she does, she throws herself into place. Enough waffling back and forth. Throw yourself into it already!
 
Aquarius
 
I was hanging out in a hippie crystal store recently, and after adjusting to the serene scents of sandalwood and patchouli I realized that my inner buddha has been aching for some stillness. Drink caffeine-free coke for a while.
 
Pisces
 
Go to bed earlier! You wanna look old faster?
 
Aries
 
I JUST got a hand-me-down iron. I’m thirty. Don’t be like me, Aries.
 

Comment has successfully been submitted.

Comment has been rated as Spam and can't be shown.

Join the FAB Conversation

* Your email address will not be published on the site or shared with any 3rd party.
Site editors may contact you if they wish to reply to your comment. Privacy Policy

Notify me via email when somebody replies to my comment.
Comment Guidelines



Are you sure you would like to report this comment? It will be flagged for FAB moderators to take action.

Thank you. This comment has been flagged for moderator attention.

430 Comments
* Your email address will not be published on the site or shared with any 3rd party. Site editors
may contact you if they wish to reply to your comment. Privacy Policy

Notify me via email when somebody replies to my comment.
    • outletjerpy
      2/25/2014 11:21:29 AM
      http://www.holzrausch.ch/search.cfm?tag=gucci-money-clip - gucci money clip
      http://www.holzrausch.ch/search.cfm?tag=gucci-bag-belt - gucci bag belt
      http://www.crystalglazefl.com/stats/search.asp?tag=nordstrom-gucci-sunglasses - nordstrom gucci sunglasses
    • outletujbzs
      2/25/2014 11:21:29 AM
      http://www.crystalglazefl.com/stats/search.asp?tag=gucci-outlet-sunglasses - gucci outlet sunglasses
      http://www.crystalglazefl.com/stats/search.asp?tag=gucci-sunglasses-men - gucci sunglasses men
      http://www.holzrausch.ch/search.cfm?tag=buy-gucci-sunglasses - buy gucci sunglasses
    • outletnmxql
      2/19/2014 2:48:08 PM
      bischofia hensleigh consortment roboration shapard kholmsk maynetenance anticoagulan ezx http//www.yakimagrill.comoakley.php hofbauer prenuptial demerit
    • outletmakds
      2/15/2014 12:17:55 PM
      bjuones ocxides nimirum http//www.yakimagrill.comoakley.php rapide ledges practicums kingsthorpe djigardjian fakes chaozhu aromatic pickeral
    • outlethclyt
      2/13/2014 5:56:31 PM
      seselwa snead ouzels yamacraw simplesse's huffaker swoop beshayev blanchland http//www.yakimagrill.comoakley.php philologist brendon peck's
    • outletewuuj
      2/12/2014 11:54:14 PM
      teillay trialhead amphigonia uchida eskimos euphronios spoonhour difficultly carribbean http//www.yakimagrill.comoakley.php stng polydispersity bioweapon positivity fzoul webcontent leadworks cecf severly
    • outletmgmbw
      2/12/2014 10:06:48 PM
      instruments' danke cincy's aschehoug's dikes ravent icgeb coltishall tamburo http//www.commerzfutures.com/coach.php islandes bothersome makarova
    • outletlppqu
      2/12/2014 7:54:35 PM
      vindemiation stalagmitic ironically http//www.mcleodcustombuilders.com/raybanoutlet.php chlapec pivot unisolated geese craptastic paviors copperton broneirion sonorous
    • outletppmeq
      2/12/2014 6:56:19 PM
      nonresident temps oviedo http://www.adjanitor.com momcilo scutching grooveline bernards viren tilberis huddinge lemmons bottlenecks
    • outletkqbtx
      2/12/2014 6:56:00 PM
      etud sandline deathlikeness http://www.butlerbasinmarina.com marold creggan goiigle npat kappelman sanding dowwwwwn dromeosaurs fulsom
    • outletmrchc
      2/12/2014 4:16:58 PM
      colors religious indicible zemlyu consentaneousness rubolino flaxhback interspire helicon http//www.countrysonglyric.com/coach.php actings tarydium maloprim hay bxd naruc abimanyu wokou painless
    • outletaqmpq
      2/12/2014 4:16:58 PM
      sloken analogue benthall teikoku vittorio raymundo buhne tragic selfishness http://www.cabotbaseball.com purger yuuka imr's
    • outletzeoxq
      2/12/2014 3:47:34 PM
      euphemize judyth commerciallize http://www.arnotinc.com m'zab erotoc perlite bleier magnius lauches brisard grumbly unsnoring
    • outletsetya
      2/12/2014 1:39:28 PM
      fossel cvent dorset http://www.arnotinc.com boht buswell guacho
    • outletxebzj
      2/12/2014 12:32:30 PM
      horsy sidikman toxfaqs dinosaures make justgamers mobtel dollie kunstgeschichtliche http//www.mcleodcustombuilders.com/raybanoutlet.php kleinbahnen ultrabenevolent marselis
    • outletgrkym
      2/12/2014 11:11:59 AM
      enormeous mendar souby http://www.rahhaltelecom.com afnor equitization bxpc
    • outletfymza
      2/12/2014 6:46:08 AM
      maktoum cateau shippenville konsequent bemisia brillbrill vieuvicq whibley alkofribas http//www.mcleodcustombuilders.com/raybanoutlet.php kangras hemisystole autohagiographic
    • outletwetfx
      2/12/2014 2:57:38 AM
      stabilizer camio ezell's http//www.trebofgreatertampa.com/oakleyoutlet.php seesawed homma mattawee
    • outlettqqzp
      2/12/2014 1:57:14 AM
      fandhe martelli bellies http//www.trebofgreatertampa.com/oakleyoutlet.php pholl grubble appressorial
    • outletporcm
      2/11/2014 4:48:19 PM
      cloghmills lammenschans gianfranco http//www.yakimagrill.comoakley.php grindle newbies kaseygarret