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Madonna's Give Me All Your Luvin' video
Madonna, Nicki and MIA all disappoint
02.03.2012
Before we sink our teeth into the lukewarm mess that is Madonna’s new video, let’s give credit where credit’s due — at 53, girl’s looking pretty good.
The video for "Give Me All Your Luvin’," the first single from her forthcoming MDNA album, hit the interweb today, and it sadly, if not expectedly, disappoints. The opening chant of "L-U-V Madonna" sees Nicki Minaj and MIA in cheerleading outfits on a suburban street that looks even cheaper and more artificial than the set of Wisteria Lane, if that’s possible.
Enter Madonna. Bursting through a front door in a tan Burberry trench, sunglasses, her signature black gloves and pushing -- wait for it -- a pram. The rest of the video has the Queen of Pop being escorted through town in a series of bizarre and unflattering shots on the backs of quarterbacks who, instead of being crazy hot, seem more like the dead football team in Beetlejuice. Oh, the wasted opportunities.
But not all is lost. The bridge is the saving grace to the video and song both. Madonna forgoes her blown-out Fawcett/Harry 'do of late for the short platinum curls of the Dick Tracy/"Vogue" era, and she looks sensational. This is also MIA and Minaj’s brief moment to shine, both of whom are thrown a bone and given the chance to be something other than overpaid, glorified extras. If this were the entire video, we might have had something remotely memorable. But then there’s the song, which sounds like an alternate demo version, or B-side, of 1999’s "Beautiful Stranger."
Regardless, on Sunday evening I will gather with a few gay boys, we’ll drink far too many cocktails and wait for our Madonna to make history, for better or for worse.
The video for "Give Me All Your Luvin’," the first single from her forthcoming MDNA album, hit the interweb today, and it sadly, if not expectedly, disappoints. The opening chant of "L-U-V Madonna" sees Nicki Minaj and MIA in cheerleading outfits on a suburban street that looks even cheaper and more artificial than the set of Wisteria Lane, if that’s possible.
Enter Madonna. Bursting through a front door in a tan Burberry trench, sunglasses, her signature black gloves and pushing -- wait for it -- a pram. The rest of the video has the Queen of Pop being escorted through town in a series of bizarre and unflattering shots on the backs of quarterbacks who, instead of being crazy hot, seem more like the dead football team in Beetlejuice. Oh, the wasted opportunities.
But not all is lost. The bridge is the saving grace to the video and song both. Madonna forgoes her blown-out Fawcett/Harry 'do of late for the short platinum curls of the Dick Tracy/"Vogue" era, and she looks sensational. This is also MIA and Minaj’s brief moment to shine, both of whom are thrown a bone and given the chance to be something other than overpaid, glorified extras. If this were the entire video, we might have had something remotely memorable. But then there’s the song, which sounds like an alternate demo version, or B-side, of 1999’s "Beautiful Stranger."
Regardless, on Sunday evening I will gather with a few gay boys, we’ll drink far too many cocktails and wait for our Madonna to make history, for better or for worse.
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