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• Good heavens! Shirtless men and homoerotic tensions swirl about like a tropical breeze in the musical South Pacific, playing until Sunday, Sept 5 at the Four Seasons Centre. Its musical numbers may not be as catchy as other shows’, but given the eye candy, who cares? From the subtle hand job given to a knife to the joyous scenes of men dancing crotch to crotch, this show entertains. A hefty budget for sets and props allows the fantastic cast to delve into the environment and their roles. The storyline is the usual boy-meets-girl narrative, but age, race, nationalism and war are thrown into the mix. “It’s a little disheartening to see how much this war musical is still relevant today,” says handsome Anderson Davis (Lt Joseph Cable) at the opening-night party. Rusty Ross (the Professor) adds, “These guys were literally ripped out of their homes and thrown in with a bunch of dudes. There is physical contact, but it’s more about camaraderie than the homoerotic.” You say potato, I say pass the lube.

• Families pushing strollers and alcoholics drinking booze from paper bags sit and watch as half-naked men in leather outfits socialize and dance under the sun. The Leatherball in the Garden XX, in Allan Gardens, attracts a diverse group, from long-time leather lovers like Peter Rex to alternative leather keener Aeryn Pfaff, who is strutting about with a crocodile attaché case. A metal fence divides, but it really only acts as a cage, putting the men inside on display like animals. Perhaps if there were some sort of camouflage netting over the fencing to give both sides a bit of privacy, this tea dance could really take off. Who wants to grope a guy in a leather kilt and fiddle his Prince Albert while a mother of two is taking photos?

• “Sweaty, hard bubble butts in spandex are my fetish,” DJ César says while entertaining on the Fetish Fair’s north stage. Participants dressed in animal costumes and cheerleader outfits mix with those in rubber body suits and flogger utility belts. Bars and restaurants move tables onto the streets, creating temporary patios. When the rain starts, it doesn’t stop Devine Darlin from completing her number, makeup intact, on the patio of the nowdefunct Elevate nightclub. The sun forces its way back and the crowds return. Tony Buff leads a bondage demo as an appetizer before serving up the main course: his massive meat in crotch-hugging jersey shorts during the Priape fashion show. With the ROTC Colour and Rifle Guard, Triangle Squares square dancers, and twinks dressed in D&G leather pants, one wonders if the fetish culture showcased will actually survive. Or perhaps it will end up becoming a second Pride weekend, like in Montreal.

• The Ten Commandments frame the main stage. But with rules like “Thou Shall Not Steal Weaves,” I expect to see Moses lift up his robe to reveal a garter. Moses is organizer Mitchel Raphael, who is sans costume. He can be forgiven, considering all the work involved in transforming Goodhandy’s into Sodom’s Biblical One-Year Anniversary. Baskin Robbins ice cream is doled out to guests dressed as unholy saints, lustful angels, horny Roman soldiers and submissive slave boys. At 1am, Donnarama is nowhere to be seen. In her place Tyler Gledhill, Mother Mahogany Browne and Keith Cole, dressed as an “acidic” Jew, perform. Raphael cites “creative differences” for Donnarama’s absence. “I was being used,” she counters later. “[Mitchel] was pressuring me to create decor but didn’t want to pay. Why would anyone sit for hours constructing massive sets and not be compensated? I need to make a living, too.” Hallelujah, sister!

rolyn chambers
deepdish@fabmagazine.com