Deep Dish - Issue 442

We begin anew by revisiting the old. After all, 2012 is, according to various experts, either the end or a new beginning. As time goes by, some parties get bigger, some get better and some get bigger because they have gotten better. This is the case as we elegantly sneak past the huge line and into Wrongbar for the first Big Primpin’ of 2012. First, are all these people not supposed to be taking it easy? Obviously some partiers didn’t get enough on NYE and have made a clear choice to come and bust it out to DJs Blackcat, Kevin Ritchie and Bettie Ford, who dusts off a Fleetwood Mac hip-hop mashup. Seriously, this shit’s gonna drive Stevie Nicks to start snorting again. Or perhaps, like Jason Ford, they are here to hear the cute cuts of Roney & Nani, who are on the cusp of becoming hip-hop royalty. By the way, who bore witness to the revival of MuchMusic’s Electric Circus NYE special? This show seriously needs to make a comeback... with a Primpin’ twist. Please take Monika Deol out of cryogenic sleep in, five, four, three, two... go!

As time goes by, some fashions change, some stay the same, and some have changed because it was unwise to stay the same. What better way to see its gay chronology than by heading over to Zipperz on a Friday night? In the lounge, a man sits listening to the piano, wide-legged in his 1970s tighter-than-tight jeans that shove his junk smartly to one side like a bag of frozen peas. Playing pool in the back, another proudly sports a puffy ’80s-era satin shirt that gives his Fabio-esque hair the perfect canvas to billow over. From the sidelines, a small-town thug in baggy late-’90s jeans (which droop daringly off his firm derrière), watches as a timid twink in skinny jeans tries valiantly to dance. Seriously, it’s like living museum, and I love it. As DJ Cory Activate slips on some crazy ghetto hip-hop remix of RuPaul’s ’80s-extravaganza “Supermodel,” an impromptu voguing session takes place on the dancefloor, courtesy of a festive fellow using red bike lights as glow sticks. Is that Calvin Klein’s 1990s fragrance Fahrenheit I smell as he poses by? You better work.

As time goes by, sometimes the music changes, sometimes people change and sometimes the music changes the people. Where are all the Latino queens? Late Saturday night, I seriously need a fix of hot Latin music and over-the-top super-bright piñata-inspired clothing courtesy of the Latinas who love George’s Play. But the shows have ended and DJ Dijon (how French and condiment-like) is playing a type of dance music I’ve only heard fabled stories of. But it has my toes tapping, and I accidentally trip a drunken tranny as she eagerly rushes to dance with and on top of Frank... and his wheelchair. Having one of the few truly wheelchair-accessible bars with a dancefloor on Church St is a good thing. Frank, with his little chair twists and big arm movements, puts a smile on my face, which usually only the sorely missed drag show can do.

As time goes by, some lines get bigger, some people get wilder and some long lines make people go crazy. Like Big Primpin’, Byzantium’s Absolut Sultry Saturday has a massive lineup. But once in, all is good. Kisses to DJ Cajjmere Wray as he oversees the perspiring gathering on the dancefloor. “I want to take the underground music scene by storm in 2012 and do my part in bringing it back to the forefront,” says Cajjmere. “Just like in the disco days, the major record industry has taken over mainstream dance, so the underground scene really needs to strengthen up.” And of course, the best things are heard on the dancefloor: “He didn’t like me talking to him because he knows I have a boyfriend.” “You have a boyfriend?” “Yeah, don’t tell anyone.” The beginning is also the end.