|  HOW
TO FAIL FABULOUSLY
Dennis Hensley is the most criminally underappreciated
gay writer in the world right now. His two books, Misadventures
in the (213) and Screening Party, are funnier than
anything by David Sedaris, Joe Keenan or Paul Rudnick.
“The one who pisses me off is Augusten Burroughs,” growls Hensley,
getting right on my wavelength. “I can’t open an issue of EW
without a feature on him every fucking week.”
I’m certainly not one for hyperbole but, in some ways, reading Screening
Party changed my life. It’s a fictionalized account of how
Hensley was asked to write about the 25th anniversary of Jaws
for a British magazine and how he decided to watch it with a room
full of friends and tape their comments. The first party was so
successful he kept doing more, with movies like Glitter and
Cruising, and the results are a book filled with hilarious
characters and observations.
So I was beside myself with joy when Hensley told me that he just
finished shooting a self-produced pilot for a TV version of Screening
Party. But don’t expect it to be like Mystery Science Theatre
3000. Copyright issues prevent Hensley from using any clips from
the films in question, a problem he has tried to solve creatively.
“I have it so that scenes from the movie resonate in the characters’
lives. For instance, in the Pretty Woman episode, my character hooks up with a hooker, and key scenes like
the ‘sex on the piano’ scene are acted out.”
Hensley has done TV before, both as writer and star (he was one
of Kathy Griffin’s two gay best friends on the first season of
My Life on the D-List, though they are now estranged). He’s
also written movies like Testosterone (which I tried to
get at 7/24, but the inconsiderate boor who rented it last has yet
to return it!) and even released an album of songs called The
Water’s Fine. None of these things have ever made him rich
and the climate for writers in Hollywood has changed.
“God, don’t you miss the ’90s? Everyone said ‘yes’ in the ’90s,”
he says, referring to how easily he found a publisher for his first
novel. He’s currently working on his third book, Happy Places,
about his years entertaining on cruise ships.
“You know the last time in your life when it was still fun to be
a failure? Well, this new book is about when it’s not that much
fun anymore.” I can hardly wait for the book tour, assuming there
will even be one. For Screening Party, Hensley was forced
to cover his own costs to visit various cities, including Toronto.
“One of my big Toronto memories,” he says, “is buying my own book
back for cheap from the remainders bin at [This Ain’t] the Rosedale
Library.”
Like any great comedy writer, Hensley is full of bitterness,
disappointment and all the other bad things that go into
making great comedy. Despite his many talents, he is still
struggling. At least he is finally in a relationship, which he
admits, “has helped a lot.”
But as a rabid fan, I have faith that the only writer who has ever
made me laugh out loud (on a crowded bus, no less, upping the embarrassment
ante) will eventually hit pay dirt. Maybe the next novel will click
or the Screening Party pilot will find the right broadcaster.
I can only hope—the ups and downs of Hensley’s career can’t help
but remind me of my own, especially when he summed it up with the
following observation.
“You ever heard that expression ‘failing up?’” he asks
me. “With my career, I feel like I’ve been ‘succeeding down.’”
 paul
bellini
buzideous@fabmagazine.com
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