Deep Dish - Issue 420

In a far-off land, straight guys stand guard and watch as women get drunk on the dancefloor. Throw in a handful of fashionable fags and you get the off-the-chain Wednesday night party at Cobra nightclub. Word has it that some of Lady Gaga’s dancers will be here tonight. We have yet to see any, but host homo Matt Barker is doing his best to keep his little monsters pacified by pouring shots of Grey Goose down their throats. Wildness follows as partiers, including Chris J Nevin and Sloan Cobain, dance on tables, grinding up on whatever animate and inanimate objects happen to be in front of them. The night finds a good balance between gays who need more than the Village and straights who need more than the Entertainment District. But what is a straight party without a fistfight? Cue eight drunk boys. Fists fly, glasses break and women shriek as the brawling mass is pushed out the door while the music plays like some amazing theme song.

There lives a DJ named Craig Dominic and a promotional company called MoJo Toronto. Throw in a special retro music night and you’ve got tonight’s version of FML Mondays at Fuzion. Having DJed now for three years, Dominic dusts off his discs and unleashes classics by Spiller, ’N Sync and Paula Abdul. I spit out my gin and tonic on the back of someone probably too young to remember when Abdul was actually talented — I am that excited. But it is Whitney Houston with her wailing diva voice that really gets the boys, like Aeryn Pfaff, wearing thick silver-plated chains and high-end sneakers, excited. With couches arranged around a small impromptu dancefloor, it’s an intimate and cozy affair orchestrated by host Joey Viola. The unlit back dining room, meanwhile, becomes the perfect spot for others, like Ry Lockhart, to get more connected. “I’m just texting,” he protests.

Way, way up high on the second floor exists a magical gay pool hall called Pegasus. There men with long hard sticks are engaged in Monday League Night. Manager Jesse (who is apparently straight) greets me in a shirt that blares “Homosexual Tendencies.” “I used to go to Jarvis Collegiate, so I’m comfortable with the gay scene... and my own sexuality,” he says as cute bartender Michael bends over innocently in front of him to refill the soda machine. The four red billiard tables in back are all occupied. It’s a jeans and T-shirt kind of place, with men of all ages and backgrounds taking turns handling their sticks. Winning becomes secondary as conversations overshadow scores. Instead of playing pool, we pretend to play electric darts before diving into a sweaty session of pinball.

Watching an epic battle, a loud boisterous crowd rallies behind two opposing fighters. But these boxers are all women at Girl Fight, which takes place at 99 Sudbury. Cheers and taunts are heard as the opponents take their positions. Organized by the Toronto Newsgirls Boxing Club and Anna Von Frances of Pink Mafia, the exhilarating event is a benefit for Nellie’s Women’s Shelter. Backstage, women prepare for their bouts, hitting punching bags and taking in last-minute advice from their coaches. Out front, rowdy groups of every demographic possible sit or stand around the regulation-sized boxing ring. The cheers become deafening as Von Frances takes to the ring like a prizefighter. Unfortunately, her opponent, Christine Noble, has at least 10 pounds of lean muscle on her and wins quickly. “The training was intense. Commitment to it was a lot more liberating than people think,” Von Frances says after. But it’s not who wins or loses, it’s the fact that they raise more than $5,000 so that women in need... can live happily ever after.

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